Update on my mom ( detailed)

OK so i am getting a lot of questions about my mom and i figured it was best to start here. I am a very medical technical person so if i am going way over your head please email and ask me to break it down.

Mom was admitted on Monday into the icu for low blood pressures and unconsciousness. There was a lot of concern as to what has happened to her. Upon admission into the ICU she had a code ( this means her heart and breathing were stopping and/or not functioning) They took several tubes of blood for testing. The findings are as follows:
Renal failure- kidneys this is due to a UTI and the infection within her blood.
Liver failure-liver
Bowel obstruction-unknown cause
and later to be identified as psuedo-obstruction with Ilias - this means she had no known cause but her bowels thought they were obstructed and would not do its functions.
She has had several units of blood since the beginning of June.
She has severe intestinal bloating and she has blood pooling and leaking around the collateral vessels in her lower tummy region.  We were told monday she would die without surgery and could die with it. So we are still waiting for her to prove them WRONG!  so far she is. She has an ng tube for decompressing her stomach and has got two more units of blood yesterday.  She is on oxygen, iv fluids for hydration, and meds for her blood pressures.


She is  lethargic and unresponsive for the most part she does not recognize anyone and if she does you cant be 100% sure that she truly did.
She is growing ecoli in her urine cultures, she is growing something in two wound cultures ( not sure yet has not been identified)
She is CRITICAL with stable vitals. She sadly is HIGHLY allergic to the one med that would cure the infection in her body.
She has a resistant E coli which is NOT a good thing considering the one drug that can help her can kill her.
She is very sick and not even close to out of the woods. She is so vacant in her eyes, so lost in her body and mind.
She needs to recover and what will her quality be like with this? we don't know we have to wait and see... We have requested a neurologist to come in and a team of doctors to come in and do an assessment of her.
I don't know what to say. I am lost without her smile, Her stubborn ways ;), Her love for my children and the silly little things she does. How she gets so excited and seeing Wyatt smile,Noni's bashful grin, and my preteen that is challenging me every step of whatever walk we are taking. There is sooo much life left for her to live and she needs to recover so we can;
A get her hernia repaired
B get her on her feet with new knee and get the other one done
C SHE HAS A NEW GRANDSON COMING!!!!!


She is an amazing person and she is a blessing to so many. What an encouragment she is!

I am on bedrest so its hard for me right now to see her but i am going as much as possible. Dad needs to know he is NOT alone and he has so many around to love him and lift him in prayer.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I love all of you for everything you do and pray for. I hope one day that i can give to you all the way you have me.
I emotionally being pregnant am not handling this well at all. I dont talk to many ppl and its not to be rude or leave you out but its me trying to remain calm, take care of my son within, to remain stable for my family, I am the Glue and i will continue to bond and do my job.
i am holding hard to one of my favorite scriptures,
isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I know God is there and he hears us all. He is our strength and our comfort.
Thank you so much for reading and stopping by i will blog and update often.

Where do I begin…

I guess I need to start in November  2010 because that is kind of the last post I made. We as a family have had lots of many changes. We have had lost a lot and gained a lot. We are grateful for every step in our lives as it has made us stronger..

So onto the holidays, we spent them alone by choice. We had a flu going around the  family and we knew that for Noni and her health it was best for everyone exposed to stay away. We did not do it to hurt anyone but we did what we knew was best for Noni.

December we had an amazing white Christmas evening. We also did not know or plan to realize that our lives were about to change drastically for the better.

December 27, 2010 I was feeling a little under the weather. I could not shake it. My wonderful best friend who is also my partner decided to lock the jeep in 4x4 and go to the local dollar general and buy a few specific tests for me to take. When I took the first one it was a dud. Then I took the second one and guess what        YUP you guessed it +!!!! We had a positive pregnancy test.

For those of you who truly know me this was NOT part of the plan. I have been told that it was practically impossible for me to ever carry or conceive again! Well, HAHAHAHA! God is always the one with the final plan! I never felt done and never felt like I was ready to close that chapter of our lives. My amazing husband more so than I was he has since Wyatt was around two just truly wanted one more. I have several medical issues that would have or so I was told would prevent me from ever being a mommy again. I talked this over with very few people that are close to me and decided that if God chose to close my womb than he would and if I was supposed to have another then I would. Dont get me wrong i am so grateful and excited i cant describe the blessing it is to have another baby.

I was very shocked at first. I was not sure what to do I cried, smiled, and prayed. I was for sure very selfish at that moment in my life and I have since repented for that. God knows me and my heart and knew that my nursing career can wait a little while longer. I have NOTHING more important to do than first being a child of God and second serving as a wife and mom. I enjoy my family and I cannot express how blessed I truly am.

So, we are about to welcome a BRAND NEW SON into the world!!!  

So my mom…

 She found out in February that we are expecting very few knew of our exciting news we wanted to be sure that this was going to be ok and not a tragic loss for us early on. Mom decided that she could not take her pain anymore and she went to Dr. Jove and decided that she liked his plan for a knee replacement.

On march 21 she had her knee done little did we know it was going to be a disaster. She got some mental side effects from the meds she was on thus leaving her a mess for two weeks and coding. She then contracted a staph infection called Toxic shock syndrome. ( I know gross right!) my poor mom went through her second knee surgery leaving her with a knee that would soon to be replaced. Right around easter she was released for a little while and one of the staff at the hospital dropped my mom on the threshold of the van and damaged the tendon and it was terrible for her she had no movement that was not painful  not to mention infection was NUTS again. So she faced another surgery where her knee was removed completely and she was bed bound for weeks and now she just had her fourth surgery to replace the knee and thus far growing staph again. She has had several blood transfusions and she is still in pain and so tired of this. She keeps asking me if she is going to be ok. I tell her of course she will. We have to keep encouraging her to heal and think positive so she can be home for the new baby!!! That has to be something she works and want to work for! I know my mom and how much she loves the children! She can do it! To see her grands is to breathe!  She is still in the hospital.

School for me was not a choice to continue I have once again had to do so much alone and I did not have anyone to help with my children  full time so I could continue and day care for three!!! Ohhhh man that is not even an option for me I was three classes from starting my clinical. Its ok though because God has a plan for me and I am looking forward to serve him and so what I am needed to do.

I will be going back as soon as I can. I miss the school time and my time being a student.

I have been taking sewing lessons from a very special sister at church. I think she is so amazing. She has taught me so much but not only that I love being with her and she is such a blessing in my life. She out of the love In her heart sewed the entire nursery for our son. She loves my family and I feel like she has kind of adopted us. I wish she could! She is like a grandmother to my kids and a second mom to me. She has given me so much and I don’t think she realizes it. Her entire family has blessed me so much.

We have recently acquired a pop up camper and went camping with me this PREGNANT yes it was HOT and yes I was happy but grumpy. LOL I enjoyed every minute of it even though I did not seem like it. I was so blessed to be at a camping trip with the Carters!

There is so much more I want to blog about but I cant bring myself to open the wounds again.

.

MaKenzie is now a middle school kid! Wow that’s so insane to me! Noni is in fourth grade and wy will be in pre k!

Wow where has the time gone.

Well this I know was supposed to be a catch up blog but as I type and erase over three times I am emotionally drained. 

To my sisters who have stuck beside me and lifted me in prayer and given me so much you know who you are and I am so grateful that you are there for me. I love you so much and don’t know what I would do without you!

Thank you for reading and taking the time to stop by. I don’t know if this catches me up but there is way more I need to post I just cant yet. Therapy is no longer school for me so I scrapbook and make hair bows as well as paint. I seriously need to blog! It will help I am sure.

I did fail to mention that pregnancy and baby are super healthy! Something I can not ever recall claiming. I cant wait to nurse this baby don’t get me wrong the time I have left is cherished but I will be so happy to hold him!

long over due!

I am going to post a long blog very soon. Since my last post there are lots i need to post and write about its going to take me hours to catch this up but i need too. To my sister in law Cassie thank you for checking my blog sorry i have not posted! I love you!

pray without ceasing Not Ceasing without prayer

pray without ceasing not cease without praying.
1Thess 5 :17 tells us in NIV to pray continually
kjv pray without ceasing ... you get the idea
When we pray without ceasing we are in constant thought to our Father in heaven and placing it all with him first and always striving to live in HIS will and be obidient to HIS plan.
When we
Cease without praying or "continually without praying"  we are sometimes picking the will of man and the desires of our flesh. ( no way am i changing scriptures etc just one of my random thoughts as i close out my day with Dinner at 1am cant be good for me) 
So i wanted to share as i started to pray over my dinner at 1am or so i was just randomly wanting to share something i taught myself. :)

Halloween

This year MaK was a hip hippy
Noni was a vet and
Wyatt was a Fireman covered in Ash!

They had an awesome party at the church building. We had a nice time with lots of fun yummy treats and prizes. I will post pictures soon when i figure it out! So bare with me.
We also chose not to "trick or treat" today on the Lords day. We celebrated it yesterday and did what we wanted which did NOT involve trick or treating. Barrow county made it known that saturday was the day and no one really abided.
Anyways Happy Halloween.

Mitochondrial disease

I dont talk about Nonis disease or her struggles( i try to stick to basics or facts) but i can tell you how she has touched many folks for the good.
I ONLY talk about the UGLY with close folks in my life.
Did you know that Noni is NOT supposed to see past childhood? Did you know every birthday hurts my heart and takes my breath away! I am scared seneseless of what devices are in my childs body!
Noni since birth has under gone over 150 procedures and still counting. She has been from nothing but seizures to intestional surgery. Tube placements, line repairs replacements, Mri that results always for the need of contrast and sedation...
The world in which i live in can be so overwhelming.
I say all of this because not many people see it.
I listened to my Brother preach his message he prepared a few weeks ago. It was one of the most inspirational and touching.
He talked about our secrets that God always sees them and how we cant hide from the truth. He also talked about in Job where he questioned God.
I really have studied Job more than once but i have never heard it in the way.
He focused on so many key points and my Noni is amazing she writes down and really works hard to keep up with lots of struggle but last night she wrote them all so perfectly in her own little way. I was packing her bag and found notes to the ones she loves and about them,
Here are her letters:
Hey PAW PAW, We are wathin Bruder  Brians and Kritys dog Brodie!

emma nee, did i tell you snugghles died i love you.

Paw paw, i gots meidcade
Nana, igots meidcade!

Why would i write to you about this b.c as a mom this is inspirational too!
I once thought it was  MY WILL that i had to stay ten steps ahead of her disease and when i did that i was setting myself up for Loss HATE and saddness. One day after studying Job it hit me! My father in Heaven LOVES me and my family so MUCH that i need to just STOP and learn to give it all to him.
i feared it for so many years doing such a thing because i felt like i was giving up and he would just take her from this earth. I have never professed perfection nor have i ALWAYS made the perfect choices for my children and Noni. I wanted to do what was right and in my mind i had to justify the means when all the while i needed to step back and let Gods will be done and the only question i should have been asking would be something like Where to? What  next?
Not for me for me and... well you get the idea.:)


So many times i have often wondered and asked Why my child, father? So many folks in the world get healthy perfect children example the Duggers 19+ kids!!!!  Genetically perfect children. So i had to step back and realize what i was asking....
Its a shame that i would even consider asking him why! The correct question is WHY NOT?
I have a beautiful child whom LOVES uncondtionally, lives like no tomorrow and has blessed my life more than i would have ever imagined! I can tell you that all of my kids are such blessings to me and i feel special to be their mom. Even the angel in heaven that i lost i am a better person because of my children.
i have to "pick on" noni tonight.

So back to what i was talking about....
Is that for so many reasons i could be mad angry and even use this situation in my life to turn away from HIM but it has strengthened me and given me a new way to see life. What a blessing this life is to me. I get so many times  " i dont know how you do it" i dont know how you can watch your child suffer" and" i dont know how you handle all the stress"
My answer is always the same. This is my normal and i LOVE my life. I am a wife a mother and most importantly i am a Child of our greatest  creator, God!  I am truly blessed. I once even had someone say to me a terrible thing " why would you have more at the risk of another being sick" my answer is that i am a blessed better person b.c of all of my children and they have taught me so much about life. They are the reason that i am who i am today and a Christian. My sweet MaKenzie introduced me to a life long Friend that happened to be a christian! She introduced me to the True Gospel and converted me and since that so many more have been converted from that one seed planted!
and Noni has taught me how to love more, live more humble as God desires and to STOP asking why and start saying Thank you for each day i get up as scarry as a birthday is for Noni its pure joy for her. For me i have to remember that Gods Grace has delivers. He did NOT HAVE to do that. He did it so i can have an eternity in Heaven with my child already there before me and loved ones and i can be together with all my spiritual family!
Now would i have another child SURE! do i want one? my selfish desires say no but my heart says WHY NOT?
if i weigh the pros and cons of adding to our family the pros by far out weigh the cons and i have always felt un done... Not content. I some times wonder if i am not content because i have a child that is not healthy.

So, i have to say I want Gods will for me in this life NOT my will.
So what ever the plan is as hard as it is i will obide. I will love as if there is no tomorrow, breath as it is my last and repent because i live in this flesh and it gets hard.
I will keep on caring for Noni keep on fighting for every step placed in front of me for her and I will keep on keepin' on!
I often feel less than because i dont have a masters degree but then i remind my self i am a Mom to three beautiful children on this earth, I am a wife and i am a sister to my brethern.
What could be better?
a degree does not make me a better person or gives me all power and knowledge. It just simply means i have another Skill!
School... I am doing very well I am keeping an A-B average and i am working so hard to acomplish my goals. I am working so hard and find my self often falling Short. Lately i have been quick to anger and YELL at my children. I am on new medication and its affecting me and my personality.
please dont take this as complaining. I am not im just simply chitter chattering.

costumes for thought...

so I REALLY wanted to be themes this year. BUT wyatt wants to be a fireman, Noni wants to be a vet, and MaKenzie has NO idea. She wants to be something gross or insane. I think she is stepping into the world to deep.
I would NOT want her to be something Demonic but she picks vampire, zombie, or something gross flesh eating blood sucking... we dont HAVE to allow her to have a costume. She does not realize that trick or treating is NOT a law we abide by.
We do it for fun and part of our culture.
I hope that this goes well today. Why did i blog about it... hummm i dont know it just felt like it was heavy on my chest.
luke  6:45
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks

just a scripture i like today. I like them all! but this one is imoportant and fitting today.
:)



I am learning and growing everyday and I am so grateful for the many blessings in my life.  I wonder what i will do and be when i grow up.....?????